Did you know that if you wrap a rubber band around your testicles, you might experience massive erections? Don't wrap it too tight or it can cause pain after a while and lead to more serious complications. I don't believe it's true nor am I willing to try it to find out. But it gave me a better idea. How about condoms with a tight film sphincter to apply a strong grip at the base of the penis?

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A eunuch was a castrated man that served as guard or servant to the emperor/king. Because he was castrated he was considered very trustworthy. We find eunuchs in ancient Greece, Persia, Turkey, India and China. At the end of the Ming Dynasty, for example, there were about 70,000 eunuchs employed by the emperor. I'm thinking.

Why castrate 70,000 straight men and not employ 70,000 gay men to protect the harem? Were the women in the harem so gay-tempting gorgeous or were gay men such a rare species back then? Or was the ruler afraid his guards might be tempted to guard him from too close a distance one day? :)

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Acceptable nouns for me include: twat, prick, dick, bastard, bitch, douche. Carpet muncher and butt pirate (although of course, that is offensive to pirates) are also admissible. This is useful when someone cuts you off while stuck/driving in traffic, when you find out that your girlfriend is cheating (unless of course it's with another woman), or if someone stabs you in the thigh with a steak knife.

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A vending machine dispensing gourmet sandwiches in addition to Snickers bars would be a nice new product to have into offices and buildings for people who arrive for work early and stay late. By gourmet I also mean fresh, so daily restocking of ingredients will be required. On busy days, I wouldn't mind paying a bit extra to get fresh a sandwich right off my desk.

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My iPhone can alert me when a friend is within a mile of me. Why can't I call a driver who's within 20 feet to ask that they let me pass?

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Don't ask yourself this question and then try to answer it. You either speak it or can't speak it. Dirty talk can't be learnt. It's not a technique that is gained. You're either good at it or you're not. You either feel it or you don't. You got to feel nasty to talk nasty. Example. Look at my photo. You're clean beautiful and horny. You have the opportunity to receive anything from me. Anything you like. What you say to me to turn me on? If you say, "I'd want you to stick it up to my chin" that's witty but not nasty. I'll stick it up, but you don't have the dirty talk. You have aroused my dirty thoughts but you don't use dirty words. It's me who's dirty...

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If I owe my bank $10,000 it's definitely my problem but if I can't pay my bank back $2 billion I owe them, is it my problem or is it theirs? There's this saying that small is beautiful, but what's so beautiful if I am a small business owner who can't renegotiate the terms of a loan because it's my problem to come up with the money? Banks are the institutions who suck up to you when you owe a lot but expect you to suck up to them when you owe a little. So unfair and yet so true.

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why not broadcast it online? viewers can pay a small fee and hospital and medical equipment suppliers will pay larger fees to advertise directly. if you don't have insurance and can't afford to pay for the surgery, there's nothing wrong letting the public watch. some viewers will be medical students and learn not to repeat mistakes when something goes wrong and you die. at least you won't die in vain or leave your family in debt.

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Every summer huge areas of forest are lost as a result of fires started by arsonists or plain accidents. Unfortunately when weather conditions are unfavorable they get so big that it is impossible to turn them off. Why not develop some type of liquid that you could throw on areas of the forest that would make trees and plants resistant to fire for an extended period of time like months or perhaps years and prevent the plants from burning. The liquid would have to be harmless to plants. The method would be similar to the planes and helicopters that throw water to extinguish the fire but water dries out in a few hours.

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You think bankers have to be smart guys (to steal your money at least :-). I read the following incident, the french bank BBVA in Buenos Aires was undergoing restoration work and for that reason the owners of the bank decided to turn off alarms, disconnect circuit cameras and other security devices in order to make things easy for the workers. They were so smart that they didn't even bother to tell the local police station that the security would be turned off during the time of the restoration. So what happened? A bunch of more clever thieves dressed up in painters' uniform and wearing painters' masks, entered the bank pretending to do paint work and without any major trouble stole everything they could from it.
If bankers are so smart no wonder why we are in crisis.

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How about a new social networking site where your friends get to create your profile? That's never been done before. Wouldn't it be interesting to see how friends describe you collaboratively?

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I think it's a good idea to re-use illegal drugs that are seized by the police and supply hospitals and marijuana dispensaries for medical treatment use. Why burn or destroy what gets confiscated when we can use it and save our health system some money.

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We know the brain's split into 2 sides but that's not the politically correct way to think of it. For example, if the right side of the brain controls the left side of the body then, does that mean only left-handed people are in their right minds? ?? Besides, does anyone really know what side the center of the brain controls? None. That's because a center brain would get very confused trying not to show favoritism to one side or the other. So, if a center brain is not the right brain to have, what else is there left to have? :)

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On a radio phone-in, a lady called the radio pastor. The pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who had that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear. The lady, who was obviously crying, said, "Pastor, I was born blind, and I've been blind all my life. I don't mind so much being blind but I have some well meaning friends who tell me that if I had more faith I could be healed." The pastor asked her, "Tell me, do you carry one of those white canes?" "Yes I do," she replied. "Then the next time someone says that hit them over the head with the cane," he said. "Then tell them 'If you had more faith that wouldn't hurt' "!

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Good for: Parties, Cocktails, Going Out...They should list all the ways you can use it. What happened to the notion that all good advertising should excite people's imagination for the product? Perhaps they realized it sells too well to people whose imagination is already very stimulated. Or it could be that they figured out playing down the excitement which comes after Parties, Cocktails and Going Out...that it was never going to stop people from imagining it anyway :)

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If I can't afford to pay the full airfare why can't I just pay the luggage-overweight cost and fly baggage class? Or fly almost-free by spreading the extra overweight cost among a few other passengers who are flying under their maximum luggage limit. Obviously, I will pay each one of my flight's sponsors a small tip for sharing my weight and for letting me depend on their sharing my kilos again in another flight.

I wouldn't be an illegal immigrant because I'm paying a fully taxable lower-than-economy fare plus I get to show my passport and boarding pass at the check-in counter. Weight-loss companies can offer special deals to people who are overweight and thus keep the price competitive for people of all shapes and heft. So long as I am flexible and don't mind being suit-cased, why should airlines object to it?

Newly designed suitcases will be required to make the travel more comfortable. Suitcase manufacturers can use NASA's know-how in making all things compact and practical for people on long flights.

Instead of being asked "How many people are traveling today?" and then being asked "And how many suitcases will you be checking in, Sir?", the ground attendant can just ask the latter and check me in and through the airport in one go. That means I will be boarding the plane faster than First-Class passengers do. Not bad! :)

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The perfect name to use if you plan to start a new escort agency in Italy or rename your existing business. Inspired by Tarantini, the Italian businessman who hired escorts to attend parties at Berlusconi's homes. Tarantini denies any wrongdoing and says he brought women to the parties to make a "beautiful impression." Italians are notorious for tax evasion so maybe avoiding paying taxes is his real motive for making a beautiful impression. Whatever the motive, however, I can't think of a better way to name an escort agency in Italy. Italians have an interesting sense of words, if they apply it to marketing their shady business, there's the next great world export from Italy :-))

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I read an article on CNN about the germiest tourist attractions in the world. 400,000 people kissed the Blamey stone in Ireland last year and Oscar Wilde fans who visit his tomb in Paris leave Wilde lipstick marks on it. There is no sign in these places saying they are disinfected daily and they're ok to kiss. The tourist authorities wouldn't want to make people self-conscious about it but how do we know they clean them every day? This article made me self-conscious, not just about tourist spots. In Greece, it's the custom to kiss religious icons in a church. I was forced to do it when I was little. I didn't like it because I believed I was the anti-Christ. Now I know I'm not (I can't even delete the memory of the kiss how could I have been the chosen one?) but seeing other people's lip-prints on the glass is still disgusting to me. Can someone convince me that those hairy/oily Greek priests clean the icons before they ask people to kiss them??

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What if the millions of Iranians who voted for the opposition parties and whose votes have been ignored marched in front of prisons and demanded to be prisoned? Instead of marching on the streets, getting beaten, killed or sent to prisons selectively, millions could march to the prisons directly. Show up every day in front of the gates. That would be a very powerful message, it would make a mockery of the government's selectively arresting people and putting them to prison and be a strong show of solidarity with the people inside.

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Due to a stomach infection, I've been reverting back to my college budget and habits the last two weeks, Chuck Shaw and Ramen noodles being two of the main food groups that keep me culinary company. I realized it's not a good plan to put Tupperware in the oven-even if it just to heat up said Ramen noodles. But it's not necessarily a bad idea, melted plastic with Chuck Saw and Ramen noodles can be a good substitute when you run out of Chuck Saw and Ramen noodles..lol

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1. You're reading my comment
2. Now you're saying/thinking that that's a stupid fact.
4. You didn't notice that I skipped 3.
5. You're checking it now.
6. You're smiling.
7. You're still reading my comment.
8. You know all you have read is true.
10. You didn't notice that I skipped 9.
11. You're checking it now.
12. You didn't notice there are only 10 facts

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Why do car wipers sweep the screen in an arc as opposed to sliding across it horizontally? Horizontal wipers seem a good idea to me because they can give much better wider coverage. Car manufacturers should give customers the choice between arc-sliding wipers or horizontal sliding ones. My only exception to automatic arc-sliding wipers would be human-powered ones. The only problem with that design might be that the driver might have to get out of the car to turn it on, or off...

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Every year we get giant jellies in Japan sea. Because they look like noodles, I thought of new presentation for noodles which is very popular dish in Japan. Make plastic bowls that look like shell of jelly fish and arrange noodles like jelly fish tentacles. Call it Nomura's Noodles.

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Moses......Everything is Law
Jesus.......Everything is Love
Marx..........Everything is Money
Freud........Everything is Sex

And the Jew who unified it all,

Einstein.....Everything is Relative :)

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The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as 'Euro-English'.

In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of 'k'. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replaced with 'f'. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' with 'v'.

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl...

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Anything that's posted online may be available long after you've deleted it from the original source. That's because search engines and other web crawlers move around the internet indexing websites and making copies. Some sites reprocess online content without your knowing about it. So just because you delete something, it may still be available on the internet somewhere. A software that tracks your postings and deletes not just the original but all copies of it on the web would be very useful. You never know when you might post something you want to delete later.

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Anything that's posted online may be available long after you've deleted it from the original source. That's because search engines and other web crawlers move around the internet indexing websites and making copies. Some sites reprocess online content without your knowing about it. So just because you delete something, it may still be available on the internet somewhere. A software that tracks your postings and deletes not just the original but all copies of it on the web would be very useful. You never know when you might post something you want to delete later.

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If you're traveling business class by plane, do your very best to avoid the last row of the cabin. That's where families with babies using skycots attached to the wall are seated on economy. Avoid that last row seat if you're headed on a long trip and you're tired or in desperate need for some rest during the flight. You will be thankful later.

If you can't be seated anywhere else, perhaps it would be a good idea to ask if the airline can give you a discount.

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I apologize for the brutal honesty on my first thought which was, is that FCUK or what? But then I noticed the panties, which are a sign that the girl is Not a total exhibitionist! Not being a total exhibitionist is a display of modesty and we should respect that. It was I who didn't get the humor that these were prints on the skirts and Not see-thru skirts. It's my fault. Even if I had see-thru vision and could see through the print, people would still call ME the pervert for using my vision. The girl was so modest to pick a skirt to wear, she so restrained herself from going out wearing panties only. But what about the real question in everyone's mind:

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then why when I look in the mirror I don't see any beauty? are some people never to see themselves as beautiful? every time I look in the mirror I am a objective about what I see. some people will never be beautiful and must accept the fact that when face the mirror they face the truth. it is not true that ugly people like to look themselves in the mirror. but you must know you are ugly. like me.

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If this is the place to share those sticky, crazy ideas you can't get out of your mind, I'd like to share mine. I've always thought of an F-15 fighter jet rental business where people will ride the planes for amusement. The customer will be allowed to take 7 circles around the earth fishtailing and feeling the G-force and then the ride is over.

Those of them who don't return the jet after the 7th lap will be shot out of the air! :)

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Killing is a crime that can take you lifetime in prison. If someone threatens you just by saying: I will kill you, What do you think the punishment should be? Ignore him

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I would like to use smileys that look like me when I chat. A free online software where you submit your photo and it converts it to different smileys to choose from would be nice to have. Make it easy to import them into any chat program. An option to automatically take photos of me when I use web cam on a chat and convert them to smileys would be great because it would allow for a large variety of facial expressions to choose from. Does anyone here know if it exists already? Thanks.

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It is so simple and easy to try that when I tell people about it they usually find it a good idea. I haven't run a poll on it but I bet most people either never do it because they haven't thought of it or forget/can't be bothered to do it. Let's see.

Do you run your hands on hot water...

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I am not against sites whose content is to publish news with a positive message only. But I am against people who get their news from that one source only. If we are not informed about all the bad and negative that happens in our world, how will we get motivated to make our world a better place? If we think that everything around us is only good and positive no matter how inspirational that may be, it's also very delusional and dangerous when everything else is ignored.

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What about placing the pedestrian push button on the ground?

I think that would make it easier for people to use it. When someone carries heavy bags for example it's easier to step on it than lift the arms to push it. People who are very tall have to bend and people who are very short have to stretch or lift their arms. It's also more hygienic as people don't have to use their hands to press it.

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And I'll treat you like you treat me. You know what? If I treated everyone the way I wanted to be treated I would be going down on people all the time. If you also treat me like I treat you, we will definitely have great fun together. Let's just time it though so we don't bump our heads together :)

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they go on and on about how comfortable they are, and how it's supposedly odor resistant because it's made out of some kind of anti-bacterial foam. great point, dipshits!

you know what else crocs are resistant to? your getting laid just from the look of your shoes. that's right. they are very sex resistant, so if you want your shoes to serve as an excellent idiot barometer, keep wearing them.

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should we brush our teeth before getting into the swimming pool? how about disinfecting them with mouthwash which is quicker and easier to do? most people think it's unnecessary but then why is it that in almost all countries in the world (except australia that I know from personal experience) must people take shower before entering the pool?

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Why I think it's a great investment. Asians incorporate more Western food into their daily diet. This makes millions of them gain fat and become more obese every year. I read in Japan 27 million people already suffer from obesity. There are more than a billion Chinese, Japanese, Koreans, Thais and Malaysians and thus the growth potential for weight-loss businesses is huge. I think it's smart to invest in Asian fat!

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I don't want to advertise them here but there are websites where people report the names of people with sexually transmitted diseases like hiv, herpes, etc...Problem is anyone can put anyone's name on the site and in order to delete your name if it's not true you must provide medical reports to the website owner that you are std-free!!

Some people think this is the right thing to do but I personally think they should ban such websites. You don't right a wrong with a wrong. What's your view on this sensitive matter?

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Think about it. It involves effort, concentration, sometimes pain if not done right and above all you got to sweat a lot before you reach orgasm, not to mention that after all that hard work some people still won't experience it. Technically, it should be categorized as a masochistic activity. What's more, it's all hard-wired into our DNA. But we never think of it this way, what pleasurable hedonistic fools we all are... :D:D:D

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Even if a woman is naturally very pretty, she still puts on make-up to look more beautiful and attractive when she goes out. If she doesn't overdo it with the make-up and her dress, no man will think she is arrogantly flaunting her beauty despite the fact that most people think to themselves that she is pretty even without the make-up. The truth is that all men will welcome and enjoy the extra beauty she has put on display. Why can't that be the case with intelligence as well? I have noticed that men become very defensive when they meet someone who's smarter than them. Why can't the reaction to something as beautiful as a smart mind be the same as the reaction to something as beautiful as a pretty face?

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Just after take-off and a few minutes before landing. That's a crazy idea of a musician friend of mine. It's not allowed of course but he asked me to ask people how they would feel if an airline offered a few minutes of in-flight live music. I think it's too difficult if not impossible to do on commercial flights but perhaps on a private flight it's possible. hmmm, I must admit that it's fun to imagine it. Flight attendants playing Mozart on the violin and other musical instruments before landing in Austria. That sounds so... Hollywood! Movies are definitely the place this idea can work well :)

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You'll probably laugh at the thought, but how about a truly mobile food delivery business that operates in a truck? The kitchen is fitted in the truck which does a regular itinerary during the day around the city. The customer can email, fax or sms the order and have it instantly delivered either to his place or wherever he might be, even on the street. With GPS technology both the customer and the truck driver can see where each other is.

The major daily cost for such business will be gas but that can amount to less than monthly rent if the trucks are hybrid or even electric. Who knows, maybe in the near future such business can be competitive and profitable.

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They already make use of them in California and elsewhere. Running machines and other gym equipment convert kinetic energy into electricity, store it and sell it for profit. A next step would be to build community gyms everywhere that people can use for free. All electricity produced will be given back to the community and result in lowering the cost of electricity for local government which will mean lower taxes.

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I'll tell you what we need. A chemical that turns saliva into a poison/virus/germ detector. If there's a dangerously poisonous substance or germ in my food or drink, then my saliva creates a strong foul taste in the mouth that forces me to spit out the food immediately. It never gets into into the stomach to be digested and cause damage.

First, the chemical must be harmless like a vaccine with no bad side-effects. If it can be made to destroy any poison inadvertently swallowed even better.

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Hello America. This is Europe calling. Congratulations for your new President! Better days are ahead for you. How about we swap Presidents with you for a year? It'll be like a student exchange, an erasmus study abroad thing or a library book loan. We'll return him to you. It's a good deal for us because so long as we don't have to vote for him it's the only way we can ever have any kind of non-White President here. Don't worry, we'll dress him well Benetton style using the old maverick beauty of European Democracy. As always, we'll let America take the wheel while we sit comfortably in the back seat. Yes we can...Swap. Old European farts!

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Now that the Mac is not back, is it better to buy PC or Google? Whatever the case may be, I am so happy that the choice is still an American one. I always had this image of Obama being a 007 in a 747 flying America's best hopes and dreams all over the world. The guy's very focused and down to earth and having lived abroad in Indonesia and with roots and family still living in Kenya let's hope he will make a great President not just for America but for everyone around the world. He showed great respect for McCain and was very sober in his victory speech. I think America did a great hire in this election

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what's the material black box is made of? in every plane crash it's usually the only thing that survives so why not make the whole airplane from the same material so that it also survives?

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