We all know there is no such medicine you can take that will cause selective local paralysis for a limited time in your body. But if it could be invented, I think it could be a useful training aid. Neutralize for a week your left brain and train yourself to think with the right one. If you're an athlete, paralyze temporarily your right hand or leg and learn to shoot the ball or dribble with your left. Blind yourself for a week and increase your capacity to use your other senses, smell, hear, touch etc. The concept is to train by tricking your innate survival skills to come to the fore.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

I had to share this! You know about the rental bicycle programs, where you pay a fee and you can use any bicycle parked at various points in the city. There is usually a computer to automate the rental process. Well, a computer hacker in Zamora, Spain accessed the computer system and figured out how to play a porno movie on one of the bicycle stations. The free movie attracted a lot of visitors. Imagine this happening in a more crowded place like the giant screens in NY Times Square! Apparently the first police officer who arrived at the scene was a woman and could not stop laughing when reporting it to the others. Maybe she liked it :-)

Have you seen or heard other such stories?

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Finally, some 'smart' pirates over in Somalia have bought laptops and an internet connection and are reading JackSparrow on the loo! Finally, they are following JackSparrow's advice to dress better in order to make the world more sympathetic to their plight. But instead of picking Hollywood to do their PR as I advised, those fools chose the White House. They got so afraid The Bro in Da Houz would tax them, they dressed up and rushed to negotiate lower taxes on their bounty. I can almost hear this Somali pirambassador asking Obama, "Arrr...Don't tax me bro and I'll hook to the law." You never know with a pirate if he means The Law of the Sea or the Law of Pirasea but The Bro knows very well what he is up to!

Those Somali pirates are letting me down. I suggested they meet with the head of Warner Bros in Hollywood and they are meeting with The Bro in Da Houz? They think they can discuss maritime strategy with him and win him over?? Fools! BarRRAck will wench you hooks down before you can say aRrrrrrr..igato. The Bro in Da Houz is not a Bush Walker, what on earth do these Somalis think they're doing meeting The Bro in full costume, without preconditions and without my knowledge and permission??

The Bro in Da Houz is a transformative President you fools, if not a Transformer himself. He already got a dog for his daughters and a bloodhound parrot to help him regulate pirasea. You fools, he'll make you repeat after him and have you sing Arr N B like no pirate ever did. Before you know it, you'll find yourselves staging ballet shows on Broadway to highlight your plight with elegance and gay finesse. The Bro will have successfully transformed you into the entertainment trouperie of So Ma Lee.

No offense to gay people, ballet enthusiasts or parrot lovers, but for a Somali pirate, dancing ballet on the mast will be the only strategy Obama's parrot will agree to not regulate. It might be the only skill they'll ever practice trying to confuse navy seals into thinking they have the wrong ship on tarRRRget. You fools, do you have the slightest idea how good you mast learn how to dance in order to save your aRrrrrse from US navy seals who are so well trained at shooting pirates in the eye from a distance? Why do you think pirates cover their eyes with a black patch, you fools you think it's just Halloween huh...

Yarr, I will be so worried if I learn that this Somali pirambassador accepts a parrot as a gift from Obama. After the Queen got an Ipod and a hug, the minimum I will advise to accept from the Bro is The Black PeaRrrrl and the geaRrrl.

I am so worried about these Somali Pirates. Their days will soon be over after this meeting. May it be some solace to a pirate's heart that JackSparrow will still talk to them from the loo. With so much black bounty yet to be taxed, Obama asked me, in secret, to intervene. Everyone knows JackSparrow is a generous man and will not let the pirates down...yarrr yarrr, yes JackSparrow will use the bounty to train the next generation of So Ma Lee para-troupers in the Caribbean camps before he sends them to Hollywood for casting on his next big hit!

Next time I am asked to lobby The Bro in Da White House on behalf of World Wide Pirasea, I will expect a very generous retainer though. When a President has a good sense of humor, it's hard to outsmart him unless you are Da Real JackSparrow he is dealing with...

And that my fellow Somali pirates, in case you were thinking you can get away with some ballet on the mast, won't happen until you shake that booty.

JackSparrow's services are must-worthy and they will cost you more than a cheap pirate's costume and a photo opp with Obama.

You bet!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

When I got my first credit card out of college, it was a stupendously crappy one. $500 limit, secured. Couldn't be less prestigious. But it was a "titanium" card with a metallic finish, and the bank's logo was screen printed across it with cheap ink. I scraped the logo off with a coin in about 10 seconds and just had a blank, gray Mastercard. I was quite amazed at the reactions this provoked among the many people who assumed it must be something quite exclusive. It was a conversation starter and I leveraged it into a few dates.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

It is said, 'When people are short of ideas, they are full of crap'. I don't know about you, but from my experience that's generally true. We know that it's also an axiom of logic that, 'if A then B, then if not B not A'. Reasoning logically, we can thus infer that, 'When people can't crap, they are full of ideas.' And I have been constipating for 3 days now and that's the best crap I can come up with? Why doesn't logic work when it comes to crap?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

I read about good hygiene and how necessary it is to prevent the spread of viruses, germs and the flu and I am thinking, wouldn't it be a great idea if ATMs would sterilize/disinfect the ATM card and the cash we deposit and withdraw from them? ATMs won't save mankind from the next epidemic, fine, but that's one less source of spreading worms and germs around. And cash is dirty because not Everyone knows how to launder it properly. Corrupt leaders try hard to teach but the masses refuse to learn. Not everyone can be a good money-launderer so better to sterilize the money supply :D

http://www.thinkaloo.com

I love to drink green tea, every day I have two cups of powder-stirred green tea (matcha). When I told my friend who is a coffee-addict himself that I am addicted to green tea, he pointed out to me that I am not addicted to tea but to chocolate. I disagreed but I now realize that I must always have a small bite of chocolate with my tea otherwise matcha is too bitter. In Japan tea is always served with something sweet on the side. Could it be that I am not addicted to tea and addicted to chocolate instead? Is green tea a decoy to cover my chocolate addiction? I'm probably addicted to both I think. Do you have similar experience?

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Some people might agree that the biggest problem with cooking is not cooking itself but deciding what to cook. One way to help yourself decide is to make menus, put them in a basket and each day pull out one. It's a clever way to trick yourself into making a choice instead of trying to figure out what your choices are before you can decide.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

Bored cleaning up my dad's Camry's paint last Sunday, I was wondering why there are no hand applicator pads made from the same stuff as foam pads for machine use? Seems to me a cutting applicator pad, a polishing, a finishing, etc. would sell like hotcakes. Oops, I may have just given away my only million dollar idea? I'm guessing they're not made because it's easier to induce marring by hand and harder to get it out by hand? I think it's a good idea anyway!

http://www.thinkaloo.com

I stumbled upon this sign at a restaurant in Tokyo. First I wondered what it might mean. No smoking, sneezing and drinking elephants allowed in the restaurant? No blowing cylindrical items in here? Imaginative and cute for a "No Smoking" sign you will probably only see in Japan.

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Everyone knows of the embarrassment of which I speak. You have gingerly walked into a public restroom with an uncontrollable urge to liberate that which can no longer be left in bondage. You take your place among the many seats which are given, however, just as you are about to give in, an innocent bystander walks in. He himself feeling the same urges for liberation unknowingly takes a seat within a distance that both of you are uncomfortable with. Now the pain of silence sets in, who is first to fire? Solution:

Although some public restrooms attempt to get around this problem by playing music, etc. the music which they play may drown out the noise to some degree but it is not enough to ease the situation. Therefore, I suggest a different kind of music for public restrooms...let's call it bathroom break music.

Imagine a recording of all the great noises that come from bathrooms played over the loud speaker--the beautiful harmony of flatulence, urine and defecation pouring forth. The users are suddenly at ease, no longer can they distinguish their own noises from that of the music.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

I often wonder why we don't re-arrange the regular Jan-Dec sequence of calling the months to synchronize seasons across continents. For instance, why can't December be experienced as a cold winter month in Australia, like it is in London or New York. If you live in Australia or some place else in the Southern hemisphere, when it's winter in Europe it's the opposite in Australia (summer). But if we just change the sequence of calling the months, December would move to what is now June and be as cold and winter in Australia in December as it is in London or New York! :)

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I've often wondered why our thought process is backwards in the ways we celebrate funerals and weddings. You would think that monetary gifts would be given in times of death when it's needed more since the income of a family has decreased. Instead, however, we give monetary gifts in times of marriage even though the family's income has increased.

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Do you think it's total fantasy to start a business selling the negative space of objects rather than the objects themselves? Negative space can be anything, for example the hole in the middle of a doughnut. The business will not sell the doughnut, only the hole. If the business is online and negative space cheap to buy there is good chance people will buy. Art collectors pay lots of money to buy, among other things, some of the most imaginatively abstract paintings that can exist. After all, what can be more abstract than negative space itself? :)

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I need little spikes to come out of my shoes when I walk over ice. I don't want to be wearing big boots or add crampons, just my regular shoes. Crampons do the job but don't match my clothes or fit into my high heels. Is it too much to ask for style and ice functionality in a regular shoe?

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I want the last miniature Snickers for myself and I don't want to eat it just yet. I want to wait until the house is empty and there's no chance of someone coming in and getting a whiff of fresh roasted peanuts when I speak. So I took out the light bulb and replaced it with the miniature Snickers. I'm hoping the darkness can help my cause. Can't think of a better place at the moment. Where would you hide it?

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I'm all in favor of smart underwear for both men and women that play messages depending on what you do with them. For example, if the girl is too early in removing it she can be told "Missile not ready for launch yet" or when the guy removes hers "Put on a condom NOW!"

Of course, with the rise of artificial intelligence there is no need to stop with simple messages. Once the ice is broken one's underpants can become a good friend giving advice on the latest theater productions, advising on political choices, tackle bedsores, warning when one's children need looking after and, of course, comforting one in time of trial and stress. When the underpants become aware of the web, it can participate in all sorts of networking since, on the net, no-one knows you are a pair of underpants :-)

http://www.thinkaloo.com

it be a good idea to have blood group information on social networking sites, people post all sorts of personal/career info, friends of friends can contact you and ask you if you would be willing to donate blood for a friend, you never know when you will be in an emergency. searching via friend networks across many different social networking sites can help find people with the right blood type you need.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

There are so many shows I would love to watch but I don't have the time anymore. I would like to see an online service that would give me 30 minute or 1 hour video summaries of all my favorite shows and TV programs (national and cable), from comedy shows to reality to interviews and news. That would be a service I wouldn't mind paying a monthly fee for. Anyone interested in starting it?

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Invent a system that would not unlock single restroom doors for employees working in restaurants until water has been run and soap dispensed. This innovation might prove more effective than those 'please wash your hands before returning to work' signs. Sure people could work around the system but it would take just as much time and wouldn't be worth the effort.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

When you invite someone at your place for dinner would you ever consider passing out (some) take-away food or home-delivery recipes as your own cooking? If most dishes are yours, what's wrong with passing one or two you didn't have time to make as yours? I see nothing wrong with ordering extras and mixing it with home-made dinner. My question is would you tell your guest or pass it as yours?

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In the movie 7 Pounds Will Smith feels responsible for causing a car accident that cost 7 people their lives. He decides to put an end to his life but not before he chooses 7 people to donate his organs to and save their lives. If you take your life away in order to give life to another person isn't it an act of sacrifice similar to Jesus' crucifiction to save mankind from its sins? Why is the right to end one's life only God's privilege and a sin when humans do it? Shouldn't suicide in order to save other people's lives considered a deeply religious act precisely because it's an act of sacrifice?

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A teenage girl comes to school for the yearbook photo shoot wearing a skirt but wears no panties. She sits in the front row and doesn't cross her legs. The yearbook gets published and distributed to school families. The girl's Sharon Stone basic instinct is fully displayed on the photo and her parents are embarrassed. They demand the school recalls and destroys the books and reprints them. Who's to take the blame and pay for the reprint costs? The family? The photographer? The school?

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Not all graduates whose education costs $30,000 or more a year will land high-paying jobs and fully repay the student loans fast and get out of debt. I see two ways of creating a system of debt-free graduates. The government fully repays the loan upon graduation if the starting salary is below a certain range and adjusts income tax a little higher for the individual in that income bracket. Or the government doesn't repay the loan but doesn't collect taxes either until the loan is fully repaid.

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I saw this posted on a blackboard as a test question for a class titled Visual Communication. An English professor wrote the words: 'A woman without her man is nothing' then asked his students to punctuate it correctly. All the males in the class wrote: 'A woman, without her man, is nothing.' All the females in the class wrote: 'A woman: without her, man is nothing.' Explain. I don't know who thought of that test question, but I think it's clever. Punctuation is. Powerfu!

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The Israeli government warned that terrorism groups are using Facebook and other social networking sites to recruit Israeli citizens as spies and asked its citizens to beware.

If you receive a message from someone you don't know asking you to pass classified information for payment, he could be a terrorist. This is so stupid. And so easy to make tons of money from the terrorists without undermining national security. Agree to the deal, request that the money gets deposited to your account and do a Google search to find info related to the one they ask you, then write it up and email it. You get the money and secret service can track the source of the payment too. Top secret classified info cannot be confirmed right away by any terrorist, if they had the ability to do that they wouldn't be asking it from you in the first place. This is a stupid way to advertise Facebook but even if it was true it's potentially profitable, so why not, what the heck!

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Some airlines (Delta, United, Virgin etc) are rushing to offer Wi-Fi internet connections in economy. Most people cite cramped space on the tray table as the major problem for laptop use in a flight but I think privacy is a more serious problem. Text chatting with my girlfriend or friends, I wouldn't want the guys sitting next to me reading what I write. We are all curious creatures by nature and easily tempted to read into everything that gets displayed on someone else's computer screen.

One way to solve the privacy issue is with special use glasses that the passenger puts on to watch what is displayed on the computer screen which stays turned off. I looked up online and found out that head mounted display glasses already exist. They connect to common video sources and are ideal for mobile entertainment and information applications.

I expect that as in-flight Wi-Fi becomes available and people take their laptops with them, there will be a big demand for use of such glasses to protect privacy. I think it's a smart investment to buy stocks of companies that make them.

http://thinkaloo.com

The message from the Obama team is that we have to reward people who add value to the economy by producing real products and services instead of rewarding bankers with sky-high bonuses and salaries which they haven't really earned nor they deserve. While I agree with the principle that people who add value to the economy should be rewarded and people who don't should not, I'm very confused by that message being repeated by Obama over and over.

Entrepreneurs who add value by innovating and creating successful new products do get rewarded very handsomely. Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Larry Page, Sergey Brin etc. These people Are rich unlike bankers who get paid well but receive nowhere near the rewards successful entrepreneurs receive.

When there is no money around to give, bankers get fired. When there is, bankers get it. When a banker gets a high bonus, it's because he has earned it. When he hasn't earned it but still gets it, it is because the government gives it to him. My point is that bankers don't create money out of nothing, they get it from somewhere.

So long as they can be creating ways to get it, it sounds awkward to say that we need to reward other professionals more, unless Obama means we disperse taxpayers money directly into other professionals' bank accounts as bonuses for services or products they have not yet created or might never will. Just like he did with recent AIG and Citigroup bonuses for example. At least I can understand how that works. Hey you failed but here is your paycheck. I, the government, give it to you.

Saying however, that people who add value to the economy should be rewarded more than bankers who don't add any value, that I don't understand. Doesn't the market already reward successful people in every field anyway? What's wrong with that to want to make it work otherwise or differently? I don't understand why and how, in a merit-based market economy the reward system should change.

For the government to say we got to change the reward system in our market-based economy when the government rewards failed bankers with taxpayers' money it's confusing and convoluted. If the government gave the money to the failed bankers already, that means that they somehow deserved it, so be clear with your message Obama, what exactly do you mean when you say other workers should be rewarded more than bankers in a market-based economy that already rewards success in the market? Do you plan to play market or do you plan to subsidize the market? Or are you just saying?

You know, just stop paying high bonuses to Failed bankers and we are back to square one. Let them fail. Regulate. Simple. Stop preaching if your actions don't measure up to the message. Stop preaching about not wanting to reward failure in the system when you have already rewarded failure by keeping failed banks alive. Not cool.

Market failure and regulation is change we can understand and already believe in. That's why we elected you anyway. Be cool.

http://thinkaloo.com

What if we made it mandatory that all students of international relations complete a minimum of one sexual experience with a man/woman from all 190 or so different countries that exist in our world? A 4 year degree takes 1460 days to complete which allows, on average, 7 days to enjoy a close and intimate relationship with a foreign partner.

I think people tend to be more sympathetic and open to other people's problems if they had (good) sex with them (sex usually is good and fun to have). By adding this requirement, we enhance the quality and real-life experience of our diplomatic corps and foreign policy experts. Actually students of any discipline that adopts this requirement can become better international relations experts.

Multinational student exchange programs will become more popular and with the aid of the internet, students will be left to freely choose the foreign partner they prefer. Those who can't find one can join group study :D:D:D

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If I ever publish a book or have my paintings exhibited I want to have a hidden recorder placed behind the frame of the painting or inside the cover of the book so that I can listen to people's raw thoughts about my work. If I own my work, I should be entitled to unfiltered access to its criticism. When that becomes my constitutional right in the form of a Patriotist Act, I wouldn't hesitate to exercise it. You?

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According to Ayatollah Khomeiny's Political Philosophical, Social and Religious principles: "When defecating or urinating, one must squat in such a way as neither to face Mecca nor to turn one's back upon it." How serious are they about it? How do we know? Do toilets have chalk drawings showing proper squat? What if they don't?

Does the devout muslim carry a compass that beeps when facing the wrong direction? Do Squat Teams sweep and clean each and every WC? How do they contact the raid? Must they face Mecca or turn their back upon it? And just how do they reprimand the sinner?

Say he's stuck in the toilet seat facing Mecca, does he get rescued immediately? Or left in the seat for hours and days as punishment? Does sainthood require an impeccable squat record? Are sins of squat squashed, washed away or flushed down the pipe following confession?

A torrent of very important political, philosophical, social and religious questions springs to mind as one takes a deep squat into the teachings of the Ayatollah...you know in a way that neither faces nor turns away from Mecca :)

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"This is final call for passengers Graabir Boubi, I-Bin Pharteen and Awan Afuqya. Please come to the gate immediately your flight is boarding..."

Sometimes the problem is with a funny name but sometimes the problem is someone funny totally mispronouncing the name or adding their heavy ethnic accent to it.

So I am sitting at the airport and thinking that all announcements should use a software that digitizes the voice of the announcer, neutralizes the heavy accent, corrects mispronunciations and irons out all the kinks in calling funny names and eliminating irony. Calling it a voice iron seems most appropriate :)

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People made fun or criticized Bush for not being smart or intellectual enough as president. Yet what people don't realize is that Bush was probably the most skilled president in terms of being able to ask a question and embed the answer in it. If you follow Bush's rhetorical questions you will realize that they are not rhetorical at all.

The answer is always embedded in it. Here's an example the media often cite to show how ungrammatically sound Bush is when all he is trying to do is weave the answer in the question.

Bush says: "Rarely is the question asked. Is our children learning?"

It's so obvious they are not and you know that as soon as you read or hear the question. This is a great skill and an act of brilliance by Bush. It was often overlooked in favor of spotting mistakes and making fun of him. That's mistaken!

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I have in mind computer games made for terrorists and given to them for FREE! They will be games of destruction where the terrorists get to blow up anything they want and...here's the catch, they will always succeed. We wouldn't want to challenge a terrorist to blow things up for real out of game failure, would we?


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What about installing an intranet system on commercial flights whereby passengers could text chat or play games with each other? Passengers could use live text chat to meet or talk to other passengers or play games with others on the flight without having to change seats to do that. Isn't a long flight more fun when you happen to be seated next to someone who is very interesting to meet and talk to? How often does it happen though? Instead of leaving it all to chance and serendipity, an intranet system that can connect each and every passenger in the same way online social networks and playing games do would make flights more fun and interesting.

http://www.thinkaloo.com

why can't (some) indians talk without moving their head? stop-head-bobbing courses or some kind of neck-aid that helps stabilize an indian's head would be a hot new product to sell...

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restricted view seats in an opera is when you can't read the surtitles from where you're seating. why can't the opera houses provide individual text-scrolling devices on those seats? a small hand-held device that streams text is not rocket science and it doesn't cost much to buy and provide. if you can't change the view, work around it!

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Wouldn't that be a more descriptive title for the famous musical and movie? One mamma and three fathers taken one at a time classifies as a trio. The play was written in the 60s where DNA testing wasn't a popular method to discover paternity and know for sure who your father is. Perhaps that's why great stories like Mamma Mia can not be inspired in our times. The DNA testing kills the most imaginative Pappa Trio part of the story. [As we say in Greek, the Pappa takes his Tria tou...] :D:D:D

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I am responding to JackSparrow's earlier post here about squat principles in Islam. The text in Greek on top of this door reads: "Room for free expression and self-concentration". As you can see, what people in the West do in the toilet Can have spiritual significance. The spiritual dimension of one's toilet activity here seems equally important to the physical aspect of it. It be no surprise if some people behind this door practice the insignia with religious fervor. That the Pope didn't include the principles behind this form of spirituality in his teachings could have been, after all, a grave omission :)

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Common symptoms include headache, migraine, flaky brain, kou-kou thoughts, slow-mindedness, dullness, idiocy. Please contact a specialist if you think you have contracted a TTD. It's usually transmitted during a platonic encounter, a prolonged study of cliterature or when having a condom-free intellectual intercouse with a person of the same or opposite sex. Intense sexual fantasies are a major cause of TTD. Sexy men and women are most vulnerable to it. For their sake please refrain from thinking too deep about them when at it. A certain level of frivolity and innocent playfulness should be maintained at all times! :)

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Impressionist paintings seem hard to paint because the artist has to move back and forth all the time to see what the painting looks like from afar. Stand too close and the painting looks like a messy patch of strokes. Take one step back and the pieces come together. A joystick-controlled, wheel-powered stunt for the artist to stand on when he draws and move him back and forth can spare extra walk and save energy. I don't know if such an aid exists but if it doesn't, why not?

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Wouldn't it be nice to be able to choose the music You like when you are put on hold? An automated system that allows companies to give customers the choice to listen to any music they like when they are put on hold would be a nice little innovation.

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How about a new website for book exchange where users from every corner of the world list the books they own. The site will allow for a search function to locate the book you are interested in and for sending an email to the owner who lives nearby to request if you can borrow it from him or her for a few days. Like on ebay, if you don't return the book, you will be rated by the community as an untrustworthy borrower and have hard time borrowing again.

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I was at a bar restaurant recently and I was sitting in a dark area of the store. I could not really read the menu due to the lack of light. I thought it would be good to have menus printed with reflective letters so that they light and make it easier to read them. Maybe only for the name of the drinks and food but not for the prices :-)

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Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do.I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

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What is your opinion about making the Protest Vote in a democracy more explicit and direct? We consider it a Protest Vote when people vote for a minority or fringe candidate that has no chance of getting elected or when they post a blank or spoiled ballot paper. What if, instead of voting for the candidates we like, we voted against the candidates we don't like and the candidate with the least amount of Against Votes wins. I know it sounds cynical, but isn't the Protest Vote in the many indirect forms it takes more cynical anyway??

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Wouldn't that be clever marketing and a good business idea? Celebrities are adored worldwide and the fans love to buy anything that relates to them, so why not audio recordings of them while they sleep? Weird fans can then play them when They go to sleep and experience sleep tele-vocality with their favorite celebrity. A few suggestions of mine to the concept. I recommend famous comedians keep the farting echoes, snoring cannot be edited out. Combine the above with falling off the bed sounds and the recordings will become top of the charts hits! :)

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I would like to put here, emphatically, that the best cure for a writer's block is manual labor. If you're having trouble with a story or something, get up, and mow a lawn, move heavy boxes, take a walk, whatever. The muse is loosened by the sweat of your brow. I just had my fair dose of it and now feel ready to wrestle over this paper due tomorrow. Or maybe I am still procrastinating musing out loud on the web instead of rambling paper thoughts on Word (lol)

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Does anyone have a good explanation why we use a word that means sexual intercourse for situations that are personally frustrating, troublesome or unpleasant? Is that how people think of sex? Isn't sex supposed to be fun, exciting and pleasurable? When in trouble we say Fuck! does it mean we wish to have sex instead? If it's a wish why isn't it taught as a polite thing to say to someone? Fuck! I don't know...

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Cemeteries are good business because no one escapes death. Cemeteries experience booms during wars and recessions. The NYSE can make money if it uses its underground as cemetery for people who commit suicide after losing all their money. The concept is to reenact the old ritual of burying the dead in the field of battle.

When the bulls come back to make money, they can do so by stepping over real dead bodies which can act as a reminder to all that booms Are transient!

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